That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to open doors the opposite way they were made to open.

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Acid tears.

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the power to see through clothes in a gay bar.

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Can transform into a no-armed man at the click of his fingers..

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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De poverr too tipe relly shiiti annd stil bee undrstod bai rettadad peepols unly.

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The power of eletric energy in the ancient history

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The power to smell inside of your own butt.

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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Tha ability to not be able to fly

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The power to turn toast back into bread

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The power to have sex with any woman you want, but you are gay

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The ability to listen to music anywhere at anytime, but only if it's from the Jonas Brothers.

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to teleport small dogs

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The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

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The power to sleep anytime and anywhere in an instant, but, u can never blink.

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The power to read any language, but it will always be backwards.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!