The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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The power to complete the jigsaw puzzle that you got bored of because it was to hard and now its in the box and covered in dust

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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De poverr too tipe relly shiiti annd stil bee undrstod bai rettadad peepols unly.

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to wait for the moment... TO THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT! And then the wait for the moment... FOR THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The power to run at the average speed of a normal person running.

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The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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the power to turn into celebs that evryonr loves to write about only infront of 1 million people

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To have the ability to piss off the police

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The power to become sick only to spread it to your enemy but you can't stop being sick until you have treatment.

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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The power to not care.

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The abillity to laugh hystericaly at theese superpowers, But only when On the toilet pooping.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power to lick your own balls!!!

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!