The power to fall asleep each time you

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The ability to pull open push only doors

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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the power to make faces at the blind

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

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The power to forget everything u learned during a test.

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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the power to get F's on assignments without trying

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to jump 1 inch higher.

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to put paper to your nose and blow strange liqeud type substance into it.

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The ability to look at the sun and not go blind. Because your already blind in the first place.

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The power to see in the dark, but only when the lights are on.

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The power to turn into random objects

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The ability to know the current mood of your doppleganger.

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the power to make hate films against Islam... theres no space for bigots and jerks on this Earth.

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the power to walk on walls but not on the floor

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the power to misspell

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!