The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

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To write a pointless power on paper to use.

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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the power to control nothing

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The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

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The power to be first on any form of media (youtube powers).

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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The power to give yourself any disease, but not the power to cure it.

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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The power to move 1 second into the future. Takes 1 second to work.

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The ability to police irony

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The power to breath fire with out any fire resistance

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The power to no sweat in the cold.

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The power of attracting fired bullets

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The ability to lift things up and put them down.

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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power to age faster

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The Power to enjoy Justin Beiber's music....

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The power to speak using their mouth

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!