The power to walk over crisp packets 25% more quietly than the average person

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The power to control unsalted butter very slightly with huge amounts Of effort

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The power to make everyone else blink around you when you blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

thumb_up thumb_down +97

To write a pointless power on paper to use.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The power to be first on any form of media (youtube powers).

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The power to walk on very very shallow water (

thumb_up thumb_down +95

the power to give yourself sunburn

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The ability to police irony

thumb_up thumb_down +93

the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to move 1 second into the future. Takes 1 second to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to no sweat in the cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to fart slightly less deadly

thumb_up thumb_down +91

the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The ability to lift things up and put them down.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power of attracting fired bullets

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to speak using their mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +87

power to age faster

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!