The power to be oppressed by everything

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The ability to eat your self up when out of food.

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ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

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The power to unravel the toilet-paper towards you.

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The power to walk over crisp packets 25% more quietly than the average person

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The power to be missed when present.

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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The ability to self destruct at will.

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the power to do nothing

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The ability to become sexually attractive to Killer Whales

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The ability to smell colors

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The power to think about thinking about having the power to be stupid

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The power to turn a light on with your mind, but only if the light is already on

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You dont HAVE to give my former comment a thumbs ups, I mean why should I care about your opinion and needs etc? Moral: But admit to yourself that it was awesome, or else you are just lying to yourself, doing ya a favor kiddo.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The power to wait for the moment... TO THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT! And then the wait for the moment... FOR THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT

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The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

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the power to make faces at the blind

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The ability to control dairy products

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The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to row 1 inch shorter but can't grow 1 inch taller

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you are immortal, but only while rubbing your mothers feet.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!