The power to breathe but only when your dead uncle breathes

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The power to waste time talking about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive

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The ability to police irony

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The abilty to change what your hair smells like every two years

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The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to eat McDonald's in Wendy's.

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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To be able to turn into any molusk when in a lava pit

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to become Santa Clause, but only on the fourth of July.

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Power to not have any power.

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The power to Silence everyone when they're saying anything

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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The power to inflict the most agonizing pain to yourself. Can only be used once and it doesn't go away

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The power to love me. Moral: I have enough of my own. HE TORTURES YOU BECAUSE HE NEEDS YOUR LOVE, I DONT TOUCH YOU BECAUSE I REQUIRE NOT YOUR LOVE, WHO IS YOUR GOD NOW! (still not me, Gods and super sayans are foolish)

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The ability to seduce any woman.....over 200lbs......that was born with a penis.

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the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The ability to grow breasts once a year.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!