The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

The power to act like Tommy Wiseau

The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

The power to move 1 minute forward in time every 60 seconds.

the power to shoot knifes from ur pen*s hole.(ouch)

The power to see where light is not present.

the ability to walk through your clothes

The power to ejaculate napalm

The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

The power to make a white paper green but only with a colored pencil

Nipple Radar.

The power to turn cheese into potatoes.

the power to fly but only if your feet are touching the ground

the power to sleep through a prison rape

The power to be french.

The power to shoot a any amount of milk out of your belly button every July 4th at 2 o'clock

The ability to perfectly recall the and only the third digit in a series of numbers.

The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

The power to balance the light switch in the middle but only on the 4th try.

the power to turn a dollar into 99 cents

The power to travel in time for 2 seconds

The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

The ability to push doors marked "pull"

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!