The power to make your boyfriend angry at you because you're angry at him, and even angrier when he was already angry at you.

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The power to grow giant, sharp and needly painful dildoes out of any surface just by sitting on it.

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The ability to produce infinite cat flavored toast made from poop out of your mouth, only while in public with 100 people that would stare at you.

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The power to know what you do when you discuss the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding.

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The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

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The power to shoot liqiud gold ever 3-6 years only when you come across jesus.

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the ability to levitate

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The ability to turn things into gold, but only when the material the item is made of is more valuable than gold.

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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The power to detect homosexuality in animals. ~scramjat

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The power to read any language, but it will always be backwards.

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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The power to overcome any addiction by constantly doing whatever you are addicted to.

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The power to slowly float upward with awesome evil aura whenever you laugh evilly (just like in the movies/anime/etc) Only to realize you are stuck up there until someone gets a crane or something to get you down...

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The power for electronics to slowly deteriorate and completely break in just 6 months

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The power to fart glitter at birthday parties.

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The ability to build a wall... wait a minute!

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the power to change the size of your thumb when ever you want

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The power to hypnotize chickens

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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the ability to have children fully grown

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The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

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The power to be superman with no power's

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The power to make jokes about death while performing dangerous surgery or defusing a bomb

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!