The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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The power to act like Tommy Wiseau

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the power to shoot knifes from ur pen*s hole.(ouch)

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The power to move 1 minute forward in time every 60 seconds.

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The power to ejaculate napalm

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The power to see where light is not present.

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The power to make a white paper green but only with a colored pencil

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The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

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The power to turn cheese into potatoes.

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Nipple Radar.

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The power to be french.

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the power to sleep through a prison rape

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the power to fly but only if your feet are touching the ground

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The ability to perfectly recall the and only the third digit in a series of numbers.

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The power to shoot a any amount of milk out of your belly button every July 4th at 2 o'clock

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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the power to turn a dollar into 99 cents

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The power to balance the light switch in the middle but only on the 4th try.

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To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power to travel in time for 2 seconds

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The ability to push doors marked "pull"

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The super power to power any electronics at will. But you need 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 Apms in your body to power a phone for 0,0000000001 seconds.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!