The power to sleep while you're awake.

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The power to only be able to mind control goldfish one at a time

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The power to have your right hand permanently glued to your face.

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The power to be a really good bowler, but only with a bowling ball that has the skull of your dead father embedded in its center.

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to spelle caretly

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The power to piss only when sleeping.

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The power to grow more genitals.

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to incriminate yourself in a crime you didnt commit

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the power to poop dogs without fur.

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The power to no sweat in the cold.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to forget everything u learned during a test.

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The power to make any woman fall in love with you, only when your wife is beside you.

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The ability to pull open push only doors

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The power to shapeshift into a frog, but not the power to turn back

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The power to start a zombie apocalypse

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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The ability to get up early for school, but only on weekends.

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the power to permanently change your name to Graham

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open up pickles glass

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The power to part clouds when there are no clouds.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!