The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The power to attract cats but be allergic to them

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The power to discern the breed of a cat by the taste of its poop.

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The power to hurt other people by hurting yourself, and you both sustain the damage.

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The power to suck your own dick

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Invisible handwriting.

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The power to do nothing with your life.

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The ability to hear fish.

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th eability to have sex with anyone in the world but have to have sex with rosie o'donnell first

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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the powers to be a fat gassy woman

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

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The power of tasting irresistibly delishush whenever anyone gets hungry.

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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Having a 5 second eidetic memory

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sdrawkcab gnipyt ta dab eb tub sdrawkcab daer ot rewop eht

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!