The power to turn a rock into a slightly bigger rock

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01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01111001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 (The power to type in binary)

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the power to get drunk you are needed

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The power to forget everything u learned during a test.

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the power to stub your toe while gardening and only cry for twenty minutes.

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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The ability to walk on your hands because your feet have nails in them.

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The power to shape-shift into a chair, but only a chair

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The power to be invisable but for only 5 seconds or the power to fly but only 2 feet off the ground.

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Perfect recall of every episode of Teletubies

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The power to start a zombie apocalypse

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Super empathy! The power to feel the suffering of every living being...

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to part clouds when there are no clouds.

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The power to find the end of the sticky tape

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The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The power to be invisible to everything but security cameras.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The power to see through glass

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!