The power to speak any language, but only the ones that aren't spoken in the country that you are in.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The power to pull any woman that just asked you for a shag.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The pointless superpower to point any where and one of those bouncy castles appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power of turning to stone everyone who says to you "will u fancy a slightly racist T-shirt?"

thumb_up thumb_down +91

That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to turn a boomerang into a doggy toy

thumb_up thumb_down +87

to make your bowel work backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to climb up fallen trees

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to shoot glue from your penis

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to expel a single spaghetti from any limb randomly

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to read a book in 2 seconds but forget everything but the title.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Invisible handwriting.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to discern the breed of a cat by the taste of its poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to suck your own dick

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to disintegrate yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to fly 3 inches.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!