The power think five times slower.

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The power to shoot lasers out your eyes but the first time you do it it burns your eyes and you go blind

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The ability to fly as high and as far as you want for 5 minutes, but you will always forget the time limit, and fall to the ground.

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The ability to day nearly motionless while binge watching internet videos

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The power to die at will.

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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The power to waste your time making a pointless website so that other people could waste there time.

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The power to turn invisible except for your fingers and toes.

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The power to fall asleep before the end of a movie

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The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

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The Power to Read really Small Words

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The power to teleport only when you have eaten something you really hate or allergic to.

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The power to use the internet whenever you want, but only on dialup

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The power to do something when you do it.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to twerk as good as miley cyrus

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Will i tell you the joke about the butter? Aww no you'll only spread it!

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the power to live forever but you'll die if you don't eat 100 coach roaches a week

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The power to have an ejaculate in your pants by looking a girl in the eyes.

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the power to say i can bend you

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The power to get the most rated pointless superpowers post

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the power to be extremely guilty in the bum.

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The power to develop a cancerous tumor anywhere in your body at any time you want.

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The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!