The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power to be a GOD with your imagination

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The power to tell when someone is using a cheese grater within 5 feet

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The ability to speak all languages ever recorded in history, but cannot speak without using at least 10 of them simultaneously.

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The power to have backround music in your life.

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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

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The power to fart tear gas

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The power to look at yourself in third person

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the ability to type slower.

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to make people extremely happy as soon as you die.

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The power to be french.

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The poewr to selpl eryvetihng wonrg.

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The power to obtain money, by going to work

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The power to bend a bendy straw faster than the speed of light.

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The power to withstand Justin Bieber's music.

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The power to ejaculate laser beams.

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The power to be HUMAN

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to to think less

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The ability to understand math but cannot apply it to ANYTHING.

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The power to know exactly how events would have turned out, had the last event gone differently

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The ability to not have an ability (The ability to be a paradox)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!