the power to fly but only about 5 feet above the grove, and only after you fart

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The power that turns farts into music.

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The amazing ability to hack peoples profiles only when they're logged in.

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the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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The ability to break & unbreak every bone in your body at will

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The power of reading your own mind.

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The power to resist Buzz Lightyear´s lazer beam, but only in real life

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The power to be indecisive about which seat you can take.

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The power to issue commands to domesticated house cats. Not the power to make them obey your commands, just the power to issue the commands.

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the power to shoot knifes from ur pen*s hole.(ouch)

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The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

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The power to make anything taste slightly more like spit.

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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The power to breath fire but only when covered in gasoline/petrolium

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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the power to not have super powers...

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The ability to breathe oxyen, but only when in space.

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The ability to not get sunburn, but only at night.

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The ability to teleport into a wall

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The power to get anything for free but at a cost

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The power to become real life Captain Arabian. Example: Hey nice suit, does the A on your forehead stand for America? ALALALALALALALAH! *BOOOOOOM* Moral: Next time you see someone that looks like Captain America, you better run.

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The power to become a laptop forever!

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The power to slap the thigh and ride the wave :P

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!