The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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The ability to turn into a were-turtle when exposed to the full moon.

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The ability to transform into a bucket full of water... With no idea how to turn back.

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The power to sense when infomercials will be on hours before they broadcast.

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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the power to suck at absolutly everything you do, except at failing.

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the power to control your own body movements

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The power to only be attracted to people under the age of 15.

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The power to give epilepsy to hamsters.

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The power of magnetism! Aka being so magnetic that you have to live in a home completely made out of plastic, and cant go out because you either get hit by random flying frying pans and stuff literally attracted towards you, or even worse, you could get dragged towards a car in movement and become red paste. A guy with this power could not take it any more, so he bought an iron necklace and put it on... may he rest in peace...

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The power to have approximate knowledge of everything.

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The power to foresee events, one yoctosecond before it happens

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Having the power of a normal human

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X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

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the power to morph into yourself

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The power to have never-ending growing curly hair, but with no powers.

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be a massive dickhead, like thomas bull

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Genetic immunity to the bubonic plague.

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The power to float a centimeter above the ground.

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the power to be blind, but only if you're blind

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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the power the convince people if they agree

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The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!