The power to smile uncontrollably.

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The power to have super-sweaty hands

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The power to die in one second

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power to see through glass. Oh wait.

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The power to buy jerky on a semi-weekly basis.

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The power to fly only when in contact with the ground

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The ability of making your Windows go blue-screened

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Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

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The power to give epic blowjobs, works only if you are a incarcerated, straight male.

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THE POWER TO KNOW WHEN YOUR CAPS LOCK IS ON

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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shit and piss at the same time

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The power to smell any point in time

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Having the power to stand still

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The power to summon earthworms

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The power to make any woman fall in love with you (Single or not) But during sex you can't pull out and protection always fails.

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Look handsome when no one is looking at you and then when they do you change back to normal

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The power to spontaneous combust on the third Wednesday of October.

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Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The power to turn into birdseed

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The power to sleep with your eyes open, but when awake, to have ur eyes closed.

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The ability to have a friend names James who dislikes all your Pointless Superpowers

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!