the power to live a happy and fullfilling life...

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The power of believing you have a real power when you don't (which doesn't make you have a power at all, and consequently, turns into a paradox). Self-paradox man!

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The power to levitate 0.000000000000001mm off the ground when going up stairs.

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Super-slowness

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The power to poop fast enough to splash your own bum.

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The power to wear comfortably wear shoes that are way too small.

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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the power of turn yourself into a mexican

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Being able to have diarrhea when every you want.

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to power to do the bird is the word

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The power o know why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch

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the power to fly while under water

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the power to live in lava, magma, fire, etc unless your body temp is over 120 degrees

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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The power to run at the speed of ligth but only when running complete circles

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The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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The power of laser vision only while eating Oscar Mayer hot dogs.

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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The power to become black!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!