The power to create mysterious stains on your clothes.

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The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

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The power to thumb down Moral Man's posts. NOTE: It is required that the user of this ability possess average to above-average intellect. Seriously, bury this dickbag's posts. He's an annoying twat.

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the power to wiggle your own arms in a weird fashion

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The power to read View Terms of Services

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The power to move you right eye into the position of your left and vise versa, but only when you are sleeping.

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the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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the power to fart mace

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the power to make your nipples taste like shit and your shit taste like nipples

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the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

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The power to get this. Do you get it?

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The power to instantaneously change the grain of wood

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The power to hear in the dark.

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The power to have a normal sized torso, but short legs.

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The power to vomit through your anus.

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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Super Stength Backlash: Power of an incredibly powerful punch, but everytime you strike the force is reflected back onto you.

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The power to mentally control tapeworms.

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The ability to turn on lamps through doors when it's bright.

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The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

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The power to know the name of every show while the title card is in front of you but only if you are holding cheap mango chutney

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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THE POWER TO XLEAN UP STUFF WITH YOUR SUPER STRONG PUNCH

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!