the power to be infinitely constipated

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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The ability to breathe underwater but only when above water

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The power to become black!

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The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

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The power to read all the other pointless superpowers

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The power to glow very bright and emit a loud alarm everytime you're scared.

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The Power of being able to do anything but does not work when you need it

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The power to walk into a room and not forget what you where going to do.

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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The power to burp where you fart, and fart where you burp.

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The power to jump 1/3 of an inch higher than you would normally jump.

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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Just because you do not see and advert here, it does not mean it is not here... Moral: Dudu duduh dudududun... ALWAYS MORAL-COLA! (aka Moke in the brits) NOW IN LIGHT AND SUPERFAT EDITIONS! Order now for the special I am fagneto edition! TASTE THE FAGNETIC! Because if gay is your way, todays morals, support this way! Lesbian-Coke is out of stock, but pre-order now and receive a moral man offer: "the lesbian drunk party invite international live!" *porn music* Hurry up! Only 2 Billion tickets left! No wait... just 50 left!... no wait... 40... no 30... 29... you better hurry ladies! As much *free* booze you can drink! *The booze Is free, the entrance is free, but the payment to get out of the building depends on how much you drink, non payers will be graped and their sex pictures will be sold on the internet* *All lesbian sex pictures will be sold on the internet, grape is not allowed! Surprise sexy time is allowed though!* Moral-Cola!

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the power to create Snyder films. xD

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being able to blow up and die

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The Power to glow in the dark during day time only.

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the power to breathe but only if there's oxygen present

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To see what you are currently doing from the same perspective of your regular vision, with the ability to understand that you're doing it. But not have the ability to stop yourself from doing what you were going to do as if you didn't have the power.

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The power to stop people from walking through closed doors.

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The ability to make food disappear from a plate by putting it in your body.

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The power to whenever you watch tv you can only watch commercials.

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The power to light someone's pants on fire by saying: "Lier Lier pants on fire"

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!