Being able to shapeshift into a grandpa then not being able to turn back until next year

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to grow giant, sharp and needly painful dildoes out of any surface just by sitting on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

the power to smack the hair off someones head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ability to run very fast forever

thumb_up thumb_down +1

X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The power to turn brass into gold, but only when the brass is made of gold.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The Power to enjoy Justin Beiber's music....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The ability to drop everything you hold

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The power to end a sentence the way that people wasn't expecting them to orangoutang.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The power to put your pants on, two legs at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The power to..em............ Forget your super power.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The power to be fat only when your at a party.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Apathy for the world. (Don't stop believing.)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The power to not be turned off by the word "moist"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to wave your hands without ever tiring

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The ability to grow and retract your hair at will, but cutting it will remove the ability.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to pee after drinking lots of water

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to watch a movie without falling asleep through most of it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!