The ability to be jokingly racist and not get sued by an hypocritically racist black man and end up having to carry out a minor jail sentence or pay a fine.

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The power to make you`re penis really long! Like 500 meters long, and not being able to make it short(er) again.

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Stop clapping

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The ability to fart like a zombie.

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the power to shit bricks

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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The power to make infinite paper clips.

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A good Kisser

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The power to be Justin Bieber and be cool at the same time

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The power to close your nose

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The power to read and agree to the terms of service.

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The power to have no power.

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The power to eat anything that is from a plant

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The ability to be invisible whenever you take a slefie

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The power to see extremely far, and to see trough everything except yourself. Congrats you are stuck with seeing your own ass wherever you go for the rest of your life. Yeh i am moral man whatevs...

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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The power to kill people just by destroying their reflections in a particular mirror that needs to be destroyed into pieces (and can't be reconstructed). Only what's reflected can be destroyed (people, living creatures, etc.). The mirror's 6 foot in height. So basically, you can destroy a giant's leg with it or part of its head (if its head is bigger than the mirror). Anything that gets fully reflected can be killed destroyed completely.

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The ability to be smarter than the average bear.

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The power to do a wheelie on a unicycle.

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The power to heal someone's injuries by killing them.

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The power to have any pointless power you want

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The power to avoid metal detectors, but only when you have nothing metal on you.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power to let anything you eat taste like sh*t

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!