the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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The power to make a baby stop crying for 1 second

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The power to travel to a parallel universe where everyone who exists dies every .1 milliseconds.

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The power to be writing a pointless superpower on a website about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive.

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The power to eat ass.

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The power to die but once

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The power to read your own thoughts.

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the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

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The power to change the color of your piss

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The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

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The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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The power to suck your own dick but not when your horny

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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Power to turn off your computer randomly. You cannot controll that power.

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power to permanently shrink one eye.

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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The power to destroy the earth the next time you blink.

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the power to uncontrollably say but I love you, when you're breaking up with someone

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The power to outthink the smartest people ever conceived, but only remember what you though for an attasecond.

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The ability to run... AT THE SPEED OF MAN

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the power to spell words wrong

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The ability to go to hell.

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The power to only like foods that are at least two different colors, but only on Thursdays. All the other days are whatever you wanna eat :D

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!