The power to turn cake into poop.

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Walk on water, swim in land!

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Stop clapping

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The power of having any superpower Batman has at will.

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The power to not hear thunder.

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The power to breath at will.

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the power to breath without thinking about it.

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The power to glow in the dark

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The power to realize that your personality is like a shithole.

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The power to always throw a napkin in a trash can from a couple feet away

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the power to speak only in binary

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The power to Master Bait, endlessly without getting satisfaction. Moral: A little less conversation, a little more action please...

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The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

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The power to hesitate when seeing naked girl.

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The ability to walk on walls as long as you're laying sideways on the floor.

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The power to do a wheelie on a unicycle.

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I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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the power to blind and nausiat yourself for 12 hours straight with no way to stop it ohh and the power the eat hairy dicks

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the abilty to come back to life, but in a black hole.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!

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The ability to make someone love you but only if they are heavier than 300kg

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the power to go back in time, but only back 1 second.

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the power to go on this website

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!