The power to shoot spiderwebs but only out of your fully erect dick

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The power to win the lottery, but only the december 21 of 2012.

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(PS: Neo was the seventh Jesus, we live in the matrix)

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The power to not sneeze in awkward situations, unless told otherwise.

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The power to be dead

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the power to fly indoors

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The ability to reverse your digestive system.

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the power to speak only in binary

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The power to have Pauly D haircut while being a dumbass.

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the power to see through tv's but only when your trying to watch one

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To be be able to be and throw fire without being fireproof.

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the power of being cut off mid senta

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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The power to see 3-D movies in 2-D.

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The power to read people's mind but can only read their minds when they are thinking about sex.

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the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

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The power to turn your navel upside down

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The power to make it impossible to have powers

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To turn into a guy that is tiny but can't do anything but speak.

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the power to make your nose longer by 5 centimeter on command

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The power to grow or shrink your height by 6 inches at will, but everytime you do, you grow an extra toe.

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The power to breathe fire but onle when under water

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The power to become me. Moral: You could not handle the awesomeness and would ruin yourself just so you can feel "normal" rather than awesome.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!