the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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The pointless superpower to make any situation awkward.

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The power to take control of mentally disabled turtles.

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spontaneous ejaculation

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The power to summon earthworms

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The power to remember what your homework is two minutes before you have to turn it in.

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solar powered night-vision

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The ability to be jokingly racist and not get sued by an hypocritically racist black man and end up having to carry out a minor jail sentence or pay a fine.

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The power to greatly enlarge your penis only if you are presenting.

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xray vision , but you must close your eyes

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The power to attract bullets.

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The power to eat anything that is from a plant

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the power to be FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

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The ability to smell with your hands

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The power to teleport anywhere at the cost of your life.

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Having the ability to drink bleach and not die. You only get really sick.

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The power to make poorly drawn art in less time than it takes to blink.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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the power to see through cereal box to see if there is a prize inside it.

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The power to avoid metal detectors, but only when you have nothing metal on you.

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The power to fly to your In-Law's house and ONLY your In-Law's house.

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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penis

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!