Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: I'm terribly sorry sir, please let us replace your soup with a more satisfactory one which is hygienic, and does not contain a dead organism. Customer: Thanks.

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The power to fart out of your mouth

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The power to move through light at the speed of time

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The power to fly 2mm above the ground

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The power to transform your fingers into uncooked hotdogs.

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the power to suddenly have suicidal thoughts

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The power to know every language except for ones spoken in the country your in.

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THE power to get stoned withouten using drugs, but only when your in class.

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Ability to shit nuclear waste

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The power to fill trash cans with garbage

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the power the to use hands when you already have hands

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The power to grow fingernails just to cut them later

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The power to become any animal, but you have to be touching that animal to transform and it can only be a rat.

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the ability to become black.

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The power to grow one wing

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The power to bend a bendy straw faster than the speed of light.

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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The ability to turn invisible... when noone is looking

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The power to cook bad meals.

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The power to look like another person, but only if the other person is uglier

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the ability to fail lie detector tests.... consistently.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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The power to communicate with dandelions.

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The ability to turn invisible but only when you're playing a trombone.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!