the power to get in the van

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The power to cure cancer, in people already dead.

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The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

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The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

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The ability to teleport, but only into solid stone.

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The ability to get up early for school, but only on weekends.

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The ability to have glow stick bones (glow when broken)

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The power to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

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The power to bring Magic: the Gathering cards to life, but only the land cards.

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The ability to turn into Jeff the Magic Cactus Baby, for a second, while you are sleeping.

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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Uber Sensitive man, in terms of touch and emotion.

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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The power to transform into a baby only when around pedophiles.

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The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

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The power to become extremely strong unless there is someone stronger around you.

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The power to suck deez nuts

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The power to heal someone's injuries by killing them.

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The power to strap wheels of cheese to your own body without getting tired easily.

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Invisibility when people aren't looking.

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the power to do two suicide bombings

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The power to break your legs before hitting the ground after jumping off of heights

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The power to fap 10x as fast as an elephant.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!