The power to pee quietly in public toilets.

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the power to... SHUT THE F*CK UP

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the ability to die once you have died

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the power to cook instant pasta in less than 1 min.

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The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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the ability to fly under water unless your wet

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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the power to be allergic to every thing

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The Pickle Touch- That is, the power to pickle any object by merely touching it.

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The power to see though Kashmir when people are around no wait that would be a good

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Th pwr t frgt vwls.

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The ability to breath, but only in space.

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power to eat through your but

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The power to turn everything you touch into a crying, hungry baby.

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the power to tell when someone is in your car

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The power to teleport anywhere at the cost of your life.

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The power to demand people to thumb you down! (That would make this pointless power even more pointless, which deserves a thumbs up... but...) Moral: THUMB ME DOWN! NAO!

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The ability to turn into a mermaid, only on Halloween.

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the power to-OMFG IT'S TAILS DOLL!

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Death at will

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the power to fall off of a cliff and live... in hell

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!