The power to die but once

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the ability to only do pointless things.

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The power to foresee events, one yoctosecond before it happens

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The power to fly but only on a foggy Christmas night

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The power to have super strength, however when you use it you instantly become paralyzed.

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The power to make any drug appear in your bloodstream at lethal levels.

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the power to breathe under water but only when yourout of water

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the ability to turn a banana into an apple at will, but only for a few seconds.

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The power to be attracted by bullets

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Autokinesis (the ability to move your own body).

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The power to go suicide

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The ability to switch out elevator music with NPR

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the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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The power to run at the speed of a human

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The power to have a normal sized torso, but short legs.

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The power to be 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds younger

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the ability to know if a movie is bad or good but only after you have watched it

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The ability to not come back to life when you die.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: I'm terribly sorry sir, please let us replace your soup with a more satisfactory one which is hygienic, and does not contain a dead organism. Customer: Thanks.

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the power of spontaneous combustion but only when you get an erection

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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the power to go into a coma

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The power to do something when you do it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!