The ability to know what people think of you when they see you. But you already know everyone hates you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The Power to look mildly far away but only with something on your face to help you see

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The power of heating things if they are located in microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The power to eat anything, as long as it's food

thumb_up thumb_down +37

the ability to fly- but only indoors

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The power to eat carrot cake, then die 12 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The power to eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +29

the power to have a fancy costume and a nice car-batman

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to make people feel self confident when you encourage them

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The ability to never have to take a shit again

thumb_up thumb_down +11

the power to see moving objects farther than they actually are.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The power to read people's mind but can only read their minds when they are thinking about sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The power to reproduce asexually.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The power to be a man that makes very good sammiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

the power to not fall in love with someone while you're dating someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The power to like this comment while you can't like any other ones.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

the power to die on a cross and come back to life 3 days later

thumb_up thumb_down -1

the power to turn into a dead person

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The power to fight inanimate objects that pose no threat to you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The power to fall asleep before the end of a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The ability to see through walls but only when your blind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!