The power to be able to understand any language, after studying that language until you feel comfortable that you know it.

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The ability to crap out acid once every month.

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The power to get older every second

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the power that makes your ass turn into a shit machine gun, but you can only use it if its directed at your mouth.

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The power to play a flute with your ass

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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the power to move forward in time one second peer second

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The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!

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The power to see John Cena, but only when he taps out/gives up.

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Having the power to see in the dark if you are blind

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The power to read all these post's in less then a day

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The power to grab a cats face

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the ability to lick your own elbow

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The ability to sleep for 15 straight hours and still feel exhausted...thank you mono.

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the power to fly that only activates when you REALLY want to kill yourself by leaping.

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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being able to turn lead into dolphins.

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The power to talk to talking animals.

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The power to detect which kitchen drawers contain the silverwear at other peoples houses

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The power to take control of mentally disabled turtles.

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The power to turn acute triangles into equilateral triangles.

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The power to see through clothes, but only dungarees.

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The power to know what Willis is talking about.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!