The power to burn ashes

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The power to send emails via pigeon

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The power to be able to run at the speed of light only when you have no energy to stand up

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The power to not be able to reach the top shelf.

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The power to excrete food colouring from your sweat glands.

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The ability to teleport from any toilet to any toilet and read minds of anyone in the bathroom all around the world.

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the power to waste the space in the typing boxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :D

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The power to WATCH ME WHIP AND WATCH ME NAE NAE

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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The power to breathe without thinking about it.

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The power to eat your own face.. the one time

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The power to speak 360 words/min. in multi-language.

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the power to commit suicide when you are about to die

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the power to make have wolverines claws but no healing abilitys

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The power to write in invisible ink

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The power of heating things if they are located in microwave.

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The ability to catch any ilness you want.

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the power to have a fancy costume and a nice car-batman

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The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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The superpower to be able to blend in with trees when there are no trees in a 5 km radius

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The power to think of hilarious intensely racist jokes, but only at Black Lives Matter protests.

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The power to be a man that makes very good sammiches.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!