The power to speak Spanish, but only to people who do not speak Spanish.

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The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

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The power to lose body parts spontaneously.

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The power to run the fastest when everyone in the world is standing still

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The power to smell your own feet without taking your shoes out.

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The power to make a child in Africa die of starvation every time you sneeze

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To pee standing up.

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The power to hate/love/care about me because of who I am. Moral: Relax dear friends (you other fools relax too) I was born this way, and I love every second of it, I am on fire and this workout gives me so damn much pheromones and testosterone that I am gonna invite a cute friend and have a damn threesome! Why, because its a mans world... never forget that kids...

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The power to be able to understand any language, after studying that language until you feel comfortable that you know it.

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The power to be invulnerable to any type of bullets except lead and copper.

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The ability to not fart, but only while you are alone

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The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!

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The power to correctly guess how old shag rugs are

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The power to shoot your teeth at the force of a Nerf gun.

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The power to know the answer to a test u already took.

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The superpower to be able to blend in with trees when there are no trees in a 5 km radius

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the ability to know what the fox say

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The power to grow hair on your eyeballs

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The power to transform into air.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to think of the most pointless superpower.

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the ability to kill people with your mind as long as they are dead

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The power to have the aim of Torres

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The power to make dad jokes.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!