the power to eat a ridiculous amount of bagels

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The power to WATCH ME WHIP AND WATCH ME NAE NAE

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The ability of telepathy but only when your targets are toast pieces, not whole toast mind you, toast pieces. This includes crumbs

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the power to believe there are 50 shades of grey

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7|-|3 p0\/\/3r 70 0|\|L'/ b3 4BL3 70 r34D 4|\|D \/\/r173 1|\| L337 $P34|

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the power to be really itchy.

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The power to get pulled over for going 1mph over the speed limit.

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The power to fall up.

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The power to open any door by using the proper key.

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The ability to identify commonly known objects.

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The power to have a black president

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The power to not be able to reach the top shelf.

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the power to have the pleasure of sex with out having to do anything to yourself or anybody else!! heckk yes haha

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The ability to teleport anywhere in the world on the first Monday of February at 4:00 am

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The power to fart really smelly :P

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The power to stick huge Cactus`s up you`re ass and spit them out as beautiful flowers.

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The power to become invincible to everything except what can hurt and kill you

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the power to teleport yourself to a volcano core

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The power to type: Hey if you wanna read funny "superpewers", then you have come to the right place! Just follow the trail of The moral man so he can stay in the middle the place where nobody looks or gives a sh... you know what? Dont thumb me, Moral man wants to stay down here rather than stuck in the middle of nowhere. Moral: If telling people to read more pointless superpowers at the "newest" superpowers, isnt pointless, then that would mean that this whole "pointless superpowers section is really meaningful... which by itself is meaningless... WIN!

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THE ABILITY TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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The power to be able to understand any language, after studying that language until you feel comfortable that you know it.

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The power to breathe under water, but only when you're asleep.

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!