The power to speak any language, provided that no one around you can understand it.

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the power to murder Joey and get away with it

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The power to open any door by using the proper key.

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The power to kill a manin just 30 years a spoon

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The power to read Chuck-E-Cheese's mind.

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The true motor of bliss runs on sex and ice cream with no flavor but calling august to see if life will eat us all or not. And she is. And he is. But the dance is corrupted with none-music and machin touch down there.....

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The power to smell thoughts.

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The power to lick your own back...

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The power to travel faster than the speed of light but never slower than the speed of light.

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the power to get free airplane flights but only to the place you are in

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The power to know that Han Solo dies

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The power of playing a game while doing nothing else

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The power to speak to unicorns, even though they don't exist

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the power to get every girl, that you're not into.

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The power to switch your left pinky toe with your right big toe and vice versa.

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The power to taste the colors of M&M's.

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The ability to grow a beard whenever anyone in the world shits

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The power to kick a kid in the balls.

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The power to turn your hair ginger at a whim.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The power to be really bad at math.

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The power to have every power, including the power that forcibly removes all of your other powers.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!