the power to make a pussy taste like a pizza pussy flavored

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The ability of telepathy but only when your targets are toast pieces, not whole toast mind you, toast pieces. This includes crumbs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The power to read people's minds, but only in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to be able to walk .00000002 times faster whenever you want

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to push a door that only pulls.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The ability to watch an episode of 60 minutes in 59 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +60

THE ABILITY TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS

thumb_up thumb_down +58

My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +50

to have the super power to do nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The power to be a mistborn but only if you're on Scadrial.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to breathe under water, but only when you're asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

THE POWER TO FIX MY CAPSLOCK

thumb_up thumb_down +42

the power to do something amazing, when no one's looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to make your hair turn green but only if you are holding green hair dye and when you use the power the green hair dye goes away

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The power to be called justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The power to use a computer whenever you want, but only at libraries

thumb_up thumb_down +20

To have a permanently invisible tounge.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

the ability to kill people with your mind as long as they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The power to control when a woman is on her period, but you are a man and suffer from constant PMS if you don't force it on someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how bout the power to shit bricks....

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Having the ability to drink bleach and not die. You only get really sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!