The power to control sloths

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The power to read Sarah Palin's mind

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the ability to masturbate in front of your grandma

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The power of levitate at will but only in a zero-gravity environment.

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The useless pewer to increase your useless power at will! Moral: THE POWER TO SPAWN IN THE CENTER OF THE SUN AFTER DEATH INCREASE!

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The power spite flower

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The ability to summon a lamp once.

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The power to write a country song

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The power to shrink, but only in certain places...

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The power to get everything for free after you have payed it.

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to watch grass grow

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power to poop out of you mouth and eat through your.... you know

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the power to think 0.0000000000000001 microseconds faster than usual

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The power to sleep with any hot chick........but only when she's dead.

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The ability to not read the terms and conditions but still agree to them.

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The power to breathe without thinking about it.

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the power to pee on command

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The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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The ability to spread toe jam on toast

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The power to build a building that is comparable to the sistine chapel, but without doors.

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The power to lick your own elbow

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The power to be immune to every third bullet.

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Super strength, but when nobody is watching, (including you)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!