the power to shit shards of glass

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The power to perform the Kali Ma sacrificial ritual on yourself.

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The power to STFU!

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The power to shape-shift but only into an Alpaca

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The power to see into the present

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the ability to shit active helicopters

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The ability to think the world is flat

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having the power to make your nose hairs turn into hookworms that shoot acid

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The power to not have superpowers

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the power to toast bread without a toaster

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The ability to blow strawberries

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The ability to instantle tangle your hair.

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The ability to hold your breath forever, but only in an oxygen-rich environment.

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the power to eat your computer mouse while its on this site

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Airbending, but only in vacuum.

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The power to troll yourself

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The power to taste the food you deficate

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The ability to turn the page in a book before you read it

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The power to destroy the whole universe by any sudden movement. (Our existence rests on you`re shoulders man, don't even breathe nor blink)

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The power to potato.

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the power of cosmic pimping with a space suit on!

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The ability to decrease the size of your girlfriends breasts.

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The power to make something useless after its already useless.

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the ability to know what the F#CK gotsie is. WHAT THE FU-

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!