The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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Strength to instantly kill anyone just by lightly tapping them, as long as they're physically stronger than you.

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The power to be invisable but for only 5 seconds or the power to fly but only 2 feet off the ground.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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The power to have a pointless power.

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power to permanently shrink one eye.

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The power to give others the power to give others the same power at will.

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The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

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The power to be afraid of movies that are not scary

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the power to make hate films against Islam... theres no space for bigots and jerks on this Earth.

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The ability to know the current mood of your doppleganger.

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The power that allowls peopl to speel incorrektly. :B

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The ability to talk really loud on your phone while in public areas.

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The power to grow your pinkie toe to ten times its actual length, but only while your shoes are on.

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the power to transform into Kanye West

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i love to make shit brix

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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To be able to bend glass at will but if any of the glass breaks you break with it.?

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the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!