The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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The power to make hot women have sex, but only with guys that you don't know.

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The ability to make your body colder in cold whether and hotter in hot whether

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The power to eat a cheeseburger and still get fat from it

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The power to poop whenever you want.

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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The power to run as fast as a cheetah! Moral: A dead cheetah...

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The ability to be blind, deaf, and mute at will.

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The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

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Invisible handwriting.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to cook minute rice in 58 seconds.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to wish you had a power

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The ability to constantly touch yourself.

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The power to never finish your sentences because

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the power to find a websites that shows you pointless superpowers...

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Liam Brudenell

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the power to take ipecac without throwing up

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the power to find children extremely attractive

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The ability to live forever but age quicker.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!