To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

The power to play games in your head but have seizures doing so.

The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

The power of having all of Batman`s Superpowers.

Teh pewer off havin noo sentense speeled rite.

The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

The power to sit for extended periods of time in front of the computer doing pointless things. The person who is reading this has that pointless superpower otherwise he would be doing something productive.

The power of becoming an apple tree

The power to make anything money related to disappear.

The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

The power to have time when you're doing nothing.

Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

The power to solve any problem with another problem e.g. Putting out a house fire with a flash flood.

The power to make food slightly smaller.

The power to smile uncontrollably.

The power to shape-shift only into a human

The power to be there were you dont wanet to be!

The power to turn into the Hulk, but only when you are asleep.

the power to fly in space

The power to annoy people with saying the same meme to then(Examples: WHAT ARE THOOSE,21 etc.)...

The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

The power to have the aim of Torres

The power to go forward through time to a second from now. I wonder if I still be in this world then when I use that power though.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!