being able to blow up and die

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The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

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The power to teleport to the middle of the Pacific Ocean

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The power to become real life Captain Arabian. Example: Hey nice suit, does the A on your forehead stand for America? ALALALALALALALAH! *BOOOOOOM* Moral: Next time you see someone that looks like Captain America, you better run.

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The power to always find lost objects... right after buying a replacement.

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The power to jump 1 centimeter off the ground and be hungry and if you don't get food within a nano second you'll die of exposure to any form of matter

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the power to stop sitting on the internet wacthing cat videos

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The power to bleed

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The power to change your eyebrows daily

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The power to see in the dark only when the lights are on

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The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

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The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

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the power to see the things that are happening right

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The power to drink and drive without being caught

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The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to be asleep while in bed

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The ability to be a plonk and post 'Pointless Super Powers' that aren't pointless and are could actually be quite useful.

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the power to find a needle in a haystack

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The power to be invisible, when no cameras or people are looking.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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Liam Brudenell

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The ability to transform in to a glass of water

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The power to instantly waste all your money on cheap mango chutney at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!