the power to give your enemies all the super powers in the world

the ability to solve paradoxes

The power to fly 0 feet in 60 seconds

The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

the ability to blow yourself

The power to teleport to Northern Siberia with only a speedo on.

The superpower to attract harm to yourself with twice the damage.

The power to Shape shift into Bread. No consciousness of any kind, just bread, unable to change back.

The power to become a lime only when you're left nipple brushes against your left shoe whilst it is superglued to your ding dong and you're strapped to a bed naked in the woods.

The power to make sweet love to your mother just by caressing her between the legs for a while.

the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

The ability to get up from the couch.

The power to pull any woman that just asked you for a shag.

The power to stop a bullet from hitting someone you care about, once.

The power to have gravity.

The ability to hide your cats right ear at will

the ability to talk to humans

The power to wear shirts considerably more often than others.

the power to fly for 2-6 seconds only when every apple product in arizona is at 100% battery level

the power to jump like a black guy.

the power to animate condiments

power to age faster

The power to see oxygen.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!