The power to shit without squinting.

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The power to cum out of your finger tips

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The power to (place useless super power here)

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The power to quote memes randomly

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The power to smell whore

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The power to make hot women have sex, but only with guys that you don't know.

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The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to understand irony.

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Justin Bieber

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The ability to tell what a tire tastes like from 6 inches away.

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You dont HAVE to give my former comment a thumbs ups, I mean why should I care about your opinion and needs etc? Moral: But admit to yourself that it was awesome, or else you are just lying to yourself, doing ya a favor kiddo.

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The power to make a watch that functions as a small phone and is named after a fruit. I would call it Applewatch.

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The power to be alone

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The power to be anyone you want but your still a nobody

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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The Power to touch MC Hammer

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The power to produce boogers that look and taste like caramel until you put them in your mouth...

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anything Aquaman does

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The power to make only right turns. take THAT nascar!

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!