The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to convert metric to imperial

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The ability to find a use for 8th grade Algebra.

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the ability to kill yourself... twice

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Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to ejaculate laser beams.

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The power to perform stan up comedy whilst sitting down

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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The power to die at will

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The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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The ability to know if you're the only human alive.

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The power to burn the sun.

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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Super empathy! The power to feel the suffering of every living being...

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The power to drink clean water (because i think dirty water is ewwy)

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The power to always be at half mast.

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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the power to cancel your powers wich is the power thats cancelling powers.

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the power to get in the van

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Having Wolverine’s ability to healing from any damage, but still healing at a normal human rate of recovery.

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the power to stub your toe while gardening and only cry for twenty minutes.

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The power to fly into the sun.

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!