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Clarksonisms
Motivational Generator
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The power of magnetism! Aka being so magnetic that you have to live in a home completely made out of plastic, and cant go out because you either get hit by random flying frying pans and stuff literally attracted towards you, or even worse, you could get dragged towards a car in movement and become red paste. A guy with this power could not take it any more, so he bought an iron necklace and put it on... may he rest in peace...
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+113
the power to turn into a narwhal. Once. At your grandmother's funeral
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+109
The power to make any liquid luke warm (it works both ways)
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+109
The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.
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+109
The power to freeze ice
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+107
The ability to get up from the couch.
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+107
Where to start? Ah yes...THE POWER TO NOT FREAKING DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!
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+105
The power to shape shift, but only into yourself two inches taller.
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+105
The power to fall in love reptiles
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+105
The power to hole 1 inch putts.
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+103
whenever you want to sleep an anime starts happening in real life
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+101
The power of being invincible, except when a life-threatening situation develops.
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+101
The power to not respond to gravity (only when you're in space).
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+99
The power to shoot projectiles from your eyes to the inside of your head.
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+99
The power to think of pointless powers.
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+97
The astounding ability to lay eggs instead of give birth.
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+97
Being alive (until you die).
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+95
The power of 12% levetation
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+95
The power of women's rights.
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+95
The power to laugh at things, but only if it's funny.
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+93
The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.
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+93
The ability to tell what a tire tastes like from 6 inches away.
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+93
the ability to only crap while on a toilet
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+93
the power to kill yourself
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+91
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!