the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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The power to turn gourmet meals into shit.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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The power to do anything you want, but only when you are sleeping

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The power to make people feel confident in themselves.

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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The power to not get shit d*ck

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The power to make somebody fall in love with anybody who isn't you.

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The power to turn invisible except for your fingers and toes.

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The power to be able to turn invisible in the dark.

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The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The power to (involuntarily) duplicate someone's wounds or illnesses by touching them.

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The power to be able to stop the world for two seconds only every 2 years.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The ability to become a paraplegic at will.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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Zebra Man has the power to change color from black to white and back again, at will

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The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

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The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!