the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to fail at life

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the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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The power to live forever until you die a natural way or get killed.

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The power to, receive THE POWER! What is this power you may ask... it is the power of TRUE POWER!

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The power.

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The ability to face reality after reading all the pointless powers

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The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

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The power to see through anything except air.

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The power to throw fireballs only under water

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The power to take huge shits at will.

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The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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The power to turn cheese into potatoes.

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The power to scratch your head 1% faster than usual, if it doesn't itch.

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The power to hatch from an egg

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The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

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the ability to blow yourself

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The power to sweat profusely on cold days.

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The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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The power to fart rainbows

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The power to wear comfortably wear shoes that are way too small.

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the ability to summon a jar of marmalade the forces people to commit adultery

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!