The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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to be shitty

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The power to defy gravity, but only for the fraction of a second.

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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The ability to turn anything into a belt.

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The power to think of your death and then you die.

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The power to answer trivia questions, but only being able to do so in a loud, aggressive voice.

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the power to crap out bite-sized super heroes.

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The power to automatically yell every action you do like in a Japanese fighting game, I once started doing this for fun, at the end of the day eveyone hated me, good luck. (OPEN DOOR! OPEN DOOR! CLOSE DOOR! POOL SHOT! CUMMING HARD CUMMING HARD! SONIC BOOM! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP! TAKING A PUNCH TO THE FACE UPPERCUT!)

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teleport to the place where you stand

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the power to make a super smelly fart every time you eat 40 cotton balls

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The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

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The power to know you don't have a superpower

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the power to time travel to the present

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The power to read the mind of a cow that has produced a piece of cheese that has traveled 447,800 miles but only when looking at that piece of cheese

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The power to predict the present

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The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The power to fly into the sun.

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!