The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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To be able to summon old people

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The power to generate electricity, unfortunately, you're not resistant to it.

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The power to balance the light switch in the middle but only on the 4th try.

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The ability to discharge a battery - JW

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The power to beat bad ass kids without getting arrested!!!

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the ability to dice a watermelon by looking at it but when you eat any of the diced watermelon a magic watermelon grows in your stomach and you look fat

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The power to open doors with your bare hands

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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Where to start? Ah yes...THE POWER TO NOT FREAKING DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power to do back flips whenever you want to but only in your mind.

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The ability to sweat poop.

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to see in the dark only when the lights are on

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The ability to judge a book by its cover.

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The power to think of pointless powers.

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The power to not respond to gravity (only when you're in space).

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The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

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The ability to fold paper 12 times

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The power to make everything worse

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The power to bend time and space in a way that would do nothing.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!