Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

thumb_up thumb_down +53

The power to make everyone think that having no power is the ultimate power so everyone thinks they're powerful when they realize they have no powers but you have one so you win

thumb_up thumb_down +43

The power to gain 10 pounds whenever you eat something

thumb_up thumb_down +39

THE POWER TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE VIA CAPITALIZATION

thumb_up thumb_down +160

The power to read 1.2x faster than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

The power to gain 50 dollars every daybut have to pay 75 back every 12 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

The power to lose your hearing and eyesight/

thumb_up thumb_down +140

The power to fall without screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

The power to breath fire but only when covered in gasoline/petrolium

thumb_up thumb_down +136

The power to shoot off your clothes at any moment while using your hands and feet

thumb_up thumb_down +134

The power to see the past. Only the past. Never the present.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

The power of having the highest rated comment

thumb_up thumb_down +130

The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

The power to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

The power to see the future while you sleep. Side effects: insomnia

thumb_up thumb_down +126

The power to generate electricity, unfortunately, you're not resistant to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

To be able to summon old people

thumb_up thumb_down +124

the power to not finish your

thumb_up thumb_down +120

The power to nag at the speed of light before he even thinks about doing it you can literally nag him to death faster then the rapper twister can say his own name!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +118

The ability to read the recaptcha images

thumb_up thumb_down +112

the ability to blow yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +112

the power to turn into a narwhal. Once. At your grandmother's funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +112

the ability to dice a watermelon by looking at it but when you eat any of the diced watermelon a magic watermelon grows in your stomach and you look fat

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!